We’ve all heard the term “attention seeker”. Oft used as an insult. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever witnessed it used otherwise. The reality as I see it, is we are all attention seekers.

Consider this scenario, just as an example, I’m sure you’ve witnessed similar.
Someone posts on their social media, a photograph posing in their swimwear. A commenter comes along to say: “such an attention seeker.” The poster comes back to comment in retort: “Uh, no. This post is for me.”

So much negative connotation to attention here, the commenter means to weaponise its negativity as an insult, the poster means to avoid the suggestion they would even dare to seek it.

For the former, I’d like to explore how seeking attention is totally okay, normal in fact. It’s about how we look at it. For the latter, how their post is in fact for attention and how that’s okay; noting it can also be for themselves – they are not mutually exclusive.

I’m trying to eliminate the stigma of “seeking attention” – at least in a general sense. Reason being, as I mentioned in the opening, we are all seeking attention. My last attention post (click here for a read) mentioned briefly how we are our attention. Our attention dictates what we perceive and therefore what we experience and so leads the story of our life. Once we give attention to something, we typically desire attention in return to complete the experience. It’s a cycle. Cyclical in a natural way. Like a vibration or wave flowing between its upper and lower extremes. Simple example: a conversation.

I was originally thinking about how there are different types of attention, but I’ve shifted that thought slightly. Now, my thinking is that attention is the catalyst and the vessel to something that pertains to our experience. When someone comments “attention seeker” on a post, it’s not the attention that I think they take issue with, it’s the meaningless validation from strangers (Ironic also since their comment does the very thing they are condemning: seek attention). Think about the pipeline. Users on the platform must indeed first give the post attention but then that attention can carry on to more. Thus comes the “like” which translates to the poster into validation, or whatever. So here, I would have said validation is the type of attention, but it’s just what eventuates from it. Attention was the catalyst to lead to validation.

Attention can become anything. As I said it’s the catalyst and the vessel. Every interaction it lends itself to something else. Attention on upcoming stresses turns into anxiety. Attention on a film turns into the experience of the narrative.

I don’t see public speakers being accused of being attention seekers, when they heavily seek attention from their audience. Likely though not for validation, but because they hope the audience will listen to what they are sharing and consider how the information may help them in some way. So here, attention has carried into something else, education, or knowledge, perhaps.

For the person posting pictures in their swimwear or other revealing or exposing outfit, looking totally hot as shit, I’m sure! In fact, to anyone who posts anything on a public forum like social media. I’m sorry, you can’t hide behind the “no its not for attention, this post is for me” response. It’s a public forum. Everything any of us posts there is for attention AND THAT IS JUST FINE! Attention is allowed. It’s perfectly okay that we do things for attention – that’s called existing.

To me, even atoms have attention within – in a different way to how we experience attention (thanks to our brain) but for any two things to interact there must be attention. The electrons circle around the nucleus. How could they do that if they didn’t have some sort of attention on it? Attention goes beyond the conscious. It’s energy.

I digress. Back to our seeking of attention – the question is what does the attention become? What are you hoping to achieve with that post you made? It could be validation, which, sure, is for you at the end of the day. Which could then be for a confidence boost. Are you making a post to share what you see as valuable information? Maybe you just want your friends to see what you’ve been up to, so it’s for your relationship management I suppose! It’s still all for attention.

So, let’s get rid of this stigma of “attention seeking”. That’s really what this whole nonsensical blog of brain spew is saying, if anything. We all exchange it every day. It’s the real currency of life, traded within the constraints of time. You give something none of your attention, minutes of it, hours of it or what-have-you, based on its value to you. I’m seeking attention right now – from anyone who’ll read and ponder my ridiculous musings.

Attention is not the problem. Just be conscious of how much of it you trade away or seek for the wrong things 😉